IN THE WILDERNESS

It's the most lonely, chaotic, uncertain and unfulfilled moment of one’s life. It is a time when almost everything feels wrong and blurry. When you try to focus and think, all you can hear is the noises in your head and other times, it’s the emptiness of it…simply put, you can only think about nothing.  Sometimes you want out but you keep floating back in. 

In the wilderness is where you get to experience some of your darkest un-confronted past experiences. It reaches a time when you want to share what you go through with your loved ones but you don’t see the easy way to do it. Is it too much? Will they get hurt? Do I need help or just sympathy? What if it makes things worse? I mean, its crazy how the wilderness can get you to be always in your head exploring unanswered questions all by yourself. 

WHY THE WILDERNESS?

Nobody decides to enter into the wilderness; it just hits you without giving you any heads-up. But isn’t there always a trigger for the road trip into the wilderness?

Let me take you back in time and ask you to try remembering when you first had experienced the roughest time of your life. How did you find yourself in that unpleasant situation? What led to the experience? Did you learn anything in the process or afterwards? Was there a paradigm shift? 

The wilderness serves its purpose just like all other things or experiences. In fact, it is very important because it shapes or molds us into our best selves in the long run and other times, the opposite of it. The beauty of it cannot be seen because we are caught up feeling the hardship of it and distracting ourselves when we are wandering into the wilderness. Sometimes we are sent into the wilderness for us to become the best version of ourselves, just like how Jesus was sent into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit for God to speak with Him. This to mean that, we do not wander into the wilderness by accident! 

 THE DRIP…

For the past five months, I have been into the wilderness. I was very confused about almost everything except my passion. The twisted part of being passionate about writing is that, I could not do anything about it. I have not published an article since 29th of November 2021. There were moments when I wanted to write but I just could not put the words together. And other times, my ideas felt so insignificant. When people asked about when the next article will be published, I kept on giving excuses that I have been busy studying but the truth is, I was scared to admit what was really going on. I spent the past five months writing down my feelings and emotions in my notebook, having no clue of what to do, ran away from opportunities, doing almost nothing, always in my head and other times, I found reasons to be grateful…REGARDLESS! 

It reached a point where I wanted out and that couldn’t have happened if it weren’t for me acknowledging every second of it. I faced my fears and searched for the inner meaning of my situation so that I could come out stronger. 

BACK TO YOU…

Perhaps you are going through a shitty road and you are so focused on how to reach the end point of it and you forget the most important thing that is…how to smoothly walk through a shitty road! 

The most important questions to ask yourself when you’re in the wilderness are, “What do I need to learn and understand about the situation?”  And “What more do I need to learn and understand about myself?” We should try our best to own our situations or our story when we are in the wilderness.

“Owning our stories means reckoning with our feelings and rumbling with our dark emotions (fear, anger, aggression, shame and blame)” – Brené Brown

It doesn’t matter if you have no idea of the person you’ve become; it doesn’t matter if you’ve lost your job or lost a sense of self…what matters is your response! When you ignore your situation, it defines you but when you own your situation, you get to write the ending of it. SO OWN IT!

WHAT NOW?

Here are the remedies…

• Feel

Give yourself the permission to feel everything that you’re going through in the wilderness. Get curious about your emotion, pay attention to it and lastly, work on it!

• Be mindful

Be mindful of what you’re thinking and pay attention to details. Remember that, “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. 

• Be vulnerable

Vulnerability is not a weakness. Be open to converse what you’re going through with people that you trust and feel comfortable around. Don’t be hard on yourself and most importantly, don’t be hard on other people. 

• Give it time and embrace the process

Do not rush to get better, give it time. Healing and finding yourself takes time and trust me when I tell you, “You have all the time you need even when it doesn’t seem that way”. Embrace each second of it, even when it doesn’t make sense.

• Rise up Strong

After all that, do not forget to rise up strong. And yes, it’s a practice. You might rise and fall plenty of times but you will stand still, eventually! 

TAKE OUT:

Humans are emotional creatures and which means, we make decisions based on our emotions. So it is very important to be aware of our emotions while we are in the wilderness because nothing hunts more than regrets. CHOOSE TO BE MINDFUL IN THE DARKEST TIMES! 

:IF you are going through a shitty road and you need someone to talk to, please reach out by sending me a direct me through the WhatsApp icon or the contact form. Thank you and HAPPY FOUR YEARS OF BLOGGING TO MY DEAREST READERS!!!!!!!

                                                                                                          Jajaapsycho.