UNRESOLVED FEELINGS

Unresolved feelings are unclear feelings of pain and grief, resentment and fear that still haunt people who are attached to the past. Whereby, most of those people are attached to a negative past. Whether you have unresolved feelings about your parents, past partner, your childhood or old friendships, this emotional baggage has the potential to affect the way people function and behave in relationships (any relationship).

“One thing you can’t hide is when you are crippled inside”- John Lennon

It’s interesting how most of us try to ignore the fact that we are broken inside, whereby if we are not careful enough these emotional issues that broke us tend to trickle into other parts of our lives. This leads us to project those unresolved feelings somewhere else. 

We may have our unresolved feelings with various people and instead of resolving them; we choose to ignore the feelings and the whole situation because we think it’s for the best since it saves lots of self-conflicts and resentments. I personally, get how hard it is to face and resolve such feelings. It is that moment when you question yourself like, “what’s the point? Who cares? Does it matter? After all, it’s in the past, won’t change anything. We end up tiring our minds with all these negative thoughts that if we don’t work on them are obviously going to affect how we act or behave in different circumstances. What we do not know or get is that there is no greater feeling than making peace with what’s bothering us.

~DEAL WITH THE ISSUES DIRECTLY~

In the process of figuring out how are you going to deal with the unfinished business with the person you are having unresolved feelings with, you do not have to think or question what that person will say or do because that will prevent you from resolving your feelings. At this point, it has to be about YOU. Sometimes in your life, you have to put YOU first regardless of how complicated, scary the situation is. Work on what’s dragging you back even if it means you facing your darkest secrets because if you won’t, it can lead to significant distress or unhealthy behaviors.

“The only relationships we obsess over are the ones with the unresolved feelings”

The following is how you can overcome these feelings:

·      Firstly, you have to know why are you really having such feelings and what’s the cause? You need to know the specifics like, what exactly is unresolved? Trust me when I tell you that, you won’t be able to run away from problems especially if the emotions run deep.

·      Secondly, make an effort to digest your painful experiences. It is better if you get to understand these experiences because it will help you to change the mark they have on your life.

·      Thirdly, you have to set boundaries (healthy boundaries) with those who are involved in your emotional issues. If you won't set these boundaries you are likely to constantly be at the mercies of that person you are having unresolved feelings with. This means you allow that person to tell you how to think, act, and feel which in the long term you’ll end up feeling unfulfilled or lost.

·      Lastly, it might be necessary to work with a professional counselor or psychologist to help you figure out the best way to work through your emotions.

However, there are so many other ways on how to work on these unresolved feelings like forgetting the past, connecting with other people, expressing your feelings in appropriate ways and finding purpose and the meaning of your life.

Let me wrap this up by saying that, if you are still having unresolved feelings for someone else, you probably shouldn’t start a relationship until those feelings have been resolved. If you don’t, those feelings will come back to haunt you down the road, when new problems arise that elicit those memories or feelings. RESOLVE YOUR UNRESOLVED FEELINGS TODAY!

                                                                                        Jajaapsycho.