THE ONE

We’ve all heard of this phrase at some point, “I think he/she is the one”. Interestingly enough is that the next few months or years you won't hear the same person saying that, “she or he is the one”, in fact, he or she won’t be able to tell the whereabouts of that person(THE ONE), because they had already broken up a few months ago. This has even made some people be afraid of exposing or introducing their partners to their close friends or family because he or she isn’t sure if that relationship is going to last. So I have been asking myself the following question for days now:

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF HE/SHE IS THE ONE?

•   Is it the sparkle?
• Following gut instincts?
• Is it about mutual feelings?
• Does that person appear after you start praying about it?

So there are lots of answers to the question but let's just discuss these four. Starting with THE SPARKLE, this is a feeling. Like many other feelings, it’s difficult to express in words but let me try. I remember sitting in church next to a guy, and during worshipping experience, the choir leader asked the church members to each turn to their neighbors and share their testimony”. I turned to mine; he was this cute, white tall guy. I’m short and you can imagine how I was looking at him. He asked me if I had any testimony and I remember saying I had none (Lame move) and so I asked him if he had any. He replied, “yes I do” and he started sharing his testimony. At that moment the only thing I remember is my heart screaming that he looks cute with his blue eyes and I even found myself into this imaginative world, where everything was looking very bright and shiny. After he finished testifying, I then remembered how stupid I was to say I don’t have any testimony while my life itself is a testimony. SO CAN YOU SAY THERE WAS THE SPARKLE IN MY NARRATION? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Sparkle is a shared look, a response to touch. It’s ephemeral mutual chemistry. I don’ know what I felt but it wasn’t the sparkle maybe it was an attraction (since attraction can be one-sided), sparkles can be one-sided too but I don’t think of it that way. Now most people believe or think that the person they are seeing or dating is finally THE ONE after seeing the sparkle.

FOLLOWING GUT INSTINCTS, gut instincts in relationships can lead you astray but trust your inner voice-the one guided by intuition. Our emotions are useful, powerful motivators and informers, but they should never be in charge. Sometimes we may want that person so bad to an extent we even try to force things by convincing ourselves that he or she may be THE ONE. We even reach a point of compromising our standards, dreams, and beliefs for the sake of being with that person.

COMPROMISES

There are certain things you should never let go, no matter how much someone else or yourself might want to. You might find a person and think that he or she is the one, but there are things about you two that make you not align. Well, there are things that you can both agree to compromise but there are other things that can’t be compromised like your beliefs (your beliefs should never be questioned), self-worth (don’t let your partner make you feel bad about yourself) or dreams (you are entitled to your dreams for the future. Dreams don’t always come true but it’s your right to chase them. If your partner doesn’t want you to follow your dreams, then you might be with the wrong person).

MUTUAL FEELING, is it about how you feel or that person feels? I once asked one of my friends that how does she know that the guy she is dating is THE ONE? She came up with a couple of reasons but in the end, those reasons were all about the guy and not about both of them. I don’t know about how you guys define a relationship but I see a relationship as a TWO WAY STREET. It has to be about both of you, how both of you feel and treat each other. Some people decide their partner to be THE ONE due to the way their partner makes them feel but not due to how they feel or how they also make their partner feel. Most marriages don’t last due to the effort made by one person at the very start of a relationship.

AN ANSWERED PRAYER FROM GOD, how do you even know if it is God answering your prayer? This is where most of us go wrong. I surely believe that God has ways to deliver his messages to you that may even be delivered more than one time in different ways. God has ways to talk to his children. The only problem is that we become too desperate to distinguish if it’s God answering or our own desires.

Many people are busy searching for the right person and others don't even care if that person(THE ONE) exists or not. In the end we all want the same thing, which is LOVE.

This is an open topic that needs a discussion. I am not always correct or “miss knows more” that’s why I really need you guys to share your views on how can you know if the person is the one or not. But the only big deal here is God. The only way not to go wrong when choosing the right person for your life is by asking God himself and waiting without rushing things. We also need to be realistic when it comes to this because we end up falling for looks and forgetting to consider more important things than “looks” that obviously change by time. Remember, “YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL”

                                                                                              Jajaapsycho.