DATING

Dating is just a word; people use it differently (looks like everyone has a different perspective on dating). For some people, the terms dating and relationships are synonymous, while for others, “dating” is not that serious, where “being in a relationship” represents commitment and exclusivity. In this case, I will define dating as a choice to intentionally get to know someone with the intention and plan to marry him or her.

I have been always curious about the “dating topic” and I sometimes ask myself, “Why do people date?” and “do they have any expectations while doing that?” So I did some digging and got some crazy, funny, reasonable and unbelievable ideas about why people do that (I will just talk about few of them).

WHY DATING? Well there are many reasons as to why people do that. Some date to find love, to be complete, to make sure if it’s a thing, because there is chemistry, to have fun and some date with the aim of getting married. The only scary thing that most of you might agree with me is that, most people are afraid of expectations when they are dating. So I’m like, “why dating a person that you do not expect anything from?” you see, most people find themselves in “no expectation scene” because they are not sure with what they are doing (most of us date to enjoy the moment, aka “stress free”).

On the other hand, dating is more like courtship. It’s a period of development towards an intimate relationship (in this, you get to know a person’s weakness, strength and his or her real-self). So, I just don’t understand why most of us do not take dating seriously? Like, why wasting your time getting to know a person who you don’t have any plans or intentions with? Dating with no clue where you are going and dating without real positive intentions is blind dating.

Dating has its own purpose and I just pray that we reach a point where we stop misusing it. “Don’t date for the sake of dating, date when you are ready to do it”. Someone told me that, we date because of love; love makes us to deny ourselves and do others wishes. I get the point but it has to reach a point where we decide what we really want in our lives, I believe that the hardest decision to make is always the right one.

There are stages of dating which are (found them in a certain website):

1.     Initial meeting/attraction (might take place over the internet, through friends, in a church or many other places)

2.     Curiosity, interest and infatuation (generally do not have much conflict at this stage of the cycle as each is really trying hard to impress the other person)

3.     “Enlightenment” and Becoming a couple (its when hormones are calming down and reality sets in. Trust is stronger and more intimacies may be shared, both halves of a couple will notice weaknesses and differences or flaws)

4.     Commitment or Engagement (in this, couples should have a good understanding of their partner’s values, life style and goals for the future. There should also be a relationship with each other’s family and friends.

I hope by reading that has helped you to know the phase you are currently in, WHY NOT NEED CLARITY?

As a final point, I want all of us to learn not to focus on finding the “right” person but to focus on being the “right” person. Most of us try to be “noticed”; I think its okay not to be noticed because you never know why God is hiding you. Every relationship has a goal and needs a lot of work to maintain them and that is why you have to seek and ask God if the person is the ONE before you start dating them.

                                                                                                    Jajapsycho.